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Complicated Things

Things will be okay. I can't promise you that, and even if I can, I won't. I'll make it happen instead.

Goodbye

24. July 2014

I think it’s best to accept that maybe she won’t come back.

I want to say goodbye now.

I’ll buy chocolates and give them to her when I dance her.

I’ll throw my feelings away there.

I won’t wait for her anymore.

I won’t be there to make her feel special.

I guess.. she’s happier to feel normal.

FUCK THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT I HATE THIS FUCK.

I HATE MYSELF. WHY, AFTER ALL THE SHIT WE’VE BEEN THROUGH, SHE ACTS LIKE SHE DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW ME. FUCK’S SAKE.

WHY CAN’T I STOP THIS FUCKING FEELING FROM CRIPPLING MY SELF ESTEEM. SHIT.

I HATE THIS.

I can feel my degrading self esteem when I try to ‘not be the shy type’ and approach first, but then they either don’t notice me or ignore me entirely, even through a fucking social networking site.